The F Word

Last year was my first Mother’s Day after my first pregnancy loss. I received a beautiful card from Start Healing Together to mark the milestone (pictured). I had loved ones send me wishes, flowers, mementos. I felt seen. I felt held. I want that for you too, Dear Loss Mom.

You deserve to be honoured, not bombarded and assaulted with ads for Mother’s Day gifts at every turn.

Last year, I prayed, hoped & wished that this year, Mother’s Day would be different. I imagined my second would be in my arms by now. Instead, it’s my second time grieving this day and mourning a second pregnancy loss.

Loss moms have a dedicated day to honour what should have been: Bereaved Mother’s Day is one week before Mother’s Day. It is a day overlooked and unrecognized unless you know someone touched by such grief. 

It’s emotionally eviscerating yet validating at the same time. Our arms are empty, but we are still mothers.

Then on Mother’s Day, with an immensely heavy heart you might clink mimosas & cheers to your own maternal figure(s) while counting the moments until you can cry in your car and reclaim your pyjamas. Or, maybe the day was already inherently difficult due to a strained relationship with your parent(s), or you’ve lost your own mother.

I’m sorry for all you’re carrying into this triggering time. I am here with you in it. Everyone who knows this ache all too well, are standing by your side.

As I shared in this post, I am wishing you moments of softness amid the hardship. May you be surrounded by thoughtful people who meet you where you’re at (if you choose to attend that social occasion or not). May they acknowledge how gut-wrenching these holiday moments are without the people who should be here.

With compassion, 

Kim

♡♡ 

Disclaimer: This is my journey. I’m sharing so maybe even just one other human may feel less alone. Our losses matter. Grief is not a competition. Bullying, comparisons or trying to one up someone’s grief will not be tolerated.